Hope

I managed to talk to more people in kickboxing today! I did have a moment when I looked in the mirror there when I felt disgusted at how I look but I forced it away because I’m tired of feeling so negative all the time. So I’m trying hard to make more friends in there and so far… Everyone seems to at least tolerate me! Connie mentions sometimes that people say good things about me at random so that means they don’t hate me at least!

Trying to lose weight is hard but I’m trying my best. I didn’t do so good today in class because it was so hot and I kept feeling sluggish then had to leave early for other reasons. I’m going to try and partner with more people next week to try and get to know them. They are starting to feel like more than a support group, like a family. It’s a good feeling. I hope I don’t come off as weird if I ask to partner with people at random before class. Connie, whenever I partner with her, (and Sari too) talks to me while we throw punches and such but not everyone else seems to like to talk during. Maybe I just talk a lot?